Underwater Breaking and Entering

I am on a boat with a group of people and we are all anxiously awaiting something. Then one by one we all take turns jumping into a cylidrical shark cage that has a domed clear glass bottom. Below us are white sharks that take rush toward the cage and attempt to swallow its newly submerged contents. I remember seeing clear down the suckers throat.

Back at base camp we are all shooting the shit and have a good time when the guide says "where is rusty?" Rusty is my brother in real life and today in dream life. I am paniced. Then one of the children pipes up. "He took the boat to go dive more by himself." "Fuck," says the captain and begins to explain that the cage require two people to opporate and if you jump in it alone you can never get out. We take off looking for him only we have to use the house boat becaue there are no other boats.

On the open water we run into my friend Sarah from alaska and she has a small zippy boat and starts to help us. Then we see Luke and has a inflatable raft, the nice kind used by navy seals. He tells us that he has seen the boat and knows where Rusty is. The captian insturcts me to drive the house boat back to port and he and Luke will go get Rusty. I comply.

On the ride back i beach on what looks to be an exaggerated version of the Econ River. The water is the color of over steeped tea and the woods are overgrown and mangy like most swamp  woods in florida. I jump down onto the white sand and when I turn around the house boat is gone and my friend Ryan is there but he looks like he did when we were teenagers, he has gotten very fat as an adult. I explain the situation to him and he says, "lets head up this way through the woods, we can make it back to camp through there."

The woods are particularly dense and at times i have to move on all fours to get through. Pushing into a clearing I realise that we are in someone back yard. Without thinking we walk onto the back porch and into the house. No one is home and we get drinks and start watching televison on their tacky, puffy, blue, 80s couches. It suddenly hits me that we dont live here and the owners could be home at any min. I tell Ryan we gotta go and we bolt out the front door with out even closing it. I remember worrying that they may have a front door cam and see us. Ryan laughs and we keep running.

After a while we come to a series of retentions ponds, all in a row with thin tracks of grass between them. There are a shit ton of people fishing in all of them. As we walk through and around them we greet all the fisthermen and they seem to know that we broke into the house but I get the feelign they have also. Then we see Luke. I ask him if they saved my brother and he says yes but tells the story as though it happned weeks ago. Its starting to get dark as the three of us head back toward the woods. My alarm goes off.

I am in my office but its not my home office. It seems like a nice little shack on the beach thats been converted into an office. Staring out of my blinds which are made of bamboo i can see the tropics. I feel really panicked though. I am worried that I am not going to get my work done on time and decide i need a new office.

I am standing on a pier with a giant cruise ship in front of me waiting for the stairs to be lowered. I climb them and enter a door in the side of the ship. Everything is black and it takes my eyes a min to adjust. Seated at a table in the dark room is a man who looks like Colonel Sanders but with a white eye patch. The whole room is lit only by a small lamp with a green glass shade. His table is covered in papers and he is intensely working on one of them. He notices me and rises shaking my hand. I am told that I have free range of the ship and can make my self comfortable and set up my office anywhere aboard.

Leaving the Colonel I begin wandering around the ship. I notice that this used to be a gambling boat and all the rooms are still full of slot machines and other various antique gambling games. Each room I enter is as dark as the first but for the light emitted from the machines. They are not on all the way, almost in stand by mode, so that it is still very dim and dark as I wander around. As i turn a corner into a new chamber the entire room lights up and all the machines come alive with all the glow and gleam of Las Vegas. I am really startled but then realise certain rooms have motion detectors in the ceiling and come to life upon being entered. I think to myself, I wonder if this crazy old man left all the money in the machines? I should investigate this later and make a fortune if so. As i leave a lit room I stair down a long dark hall way. I cant see to the end but about half way down there are a few green lights against the wall. For some reason this room really freaks my out and I feel the desire to flee the ship completely. Deciding I dont need or want an office such as this I leave unceremoniously.

When i get down the stairs to the pier, which was previously wooden, it is now a cement side walk. I sit down cross legged on the sidewalk. When i turn around the ship is gone and I realise I am sitting behind a building with a group of friends. Lounging in the sun we chat about nothing. My friend Sarah is there from Canada but she keeps coming in and out of having a Spanish accent. I am confused but very attracted to her. She comes and lays her head on me and we cuddle there by the building. I roll away for away from her and wake up.

I am in my old neighborhood, the one i grew up in as a child. I am wolverine form Xmen. My coworker Brad is Beast but although he resembles beast more than Brad I know its him. We are hauling ass running toward a patch of woods. Beastbrad run-jumping on all fours beast style leaps into the edge of the woods and starts digging up the ground. I am behind him across the street from the woods. Just then a woman who is very thin and tall and has claws appears on the corner of the intersection near by. I know she is our enemy. I yell to Brad and he comes bounding toward me as I close the gap between myself and the tall woman. We begin doing battle and she is really strong. Then beast grabs hold of a wasp as it is flying by. Its no ordinary wasp though, about the size of a sparrow with a huge ass on it and a giant stinger. He jumps on her back and as he moves to plunge the wasp into her neck I yell no beast not the wasp. Its too late though and he has already stuck her. Throwing her arms out wide she flings him to the floor and begins screaming an convulsing. My vision is spinning around her body looking up ward as though i were a small child running in circles below her.

Everything cuts and we are back in Xaviers mansion. We are in the conference room with the other Xmen and Cyclopse is pissed and yelling at me and beast. He explains that we were told never to use the wasps and while bringing up an image of the woman on the monitor, say "do you see what you have done now she has cheese hands." I can see on the screen that her clawed hands have now turned into giant wheels of cheese. I try to explain but he is too mad to hear me out and just keeps saying cheese hands Logan cheese hands! I wake up.

I am in a theatre. It is very old looking probably from around the late 1800s. Very dark inside and all the drapes hung on the walls and stage are dark crimson red. I am seated with a large group of friends. Next to me is a beautiful asian girl i dated in college and we look at each other and hold hands. I feel like I am in love. I dont know how i know but i  know that the theatre has many stories all filled with different performance halls and that we are in this one to see a friend perform.

Then my friend Dina takes the stage. She is wearing pink and black stripped bloomers and a penguin tailed black coat. She seems really nervous. When she starts to sing her voice breaks and is sometimes inaudible. We all start to cheer as a sign of support and with renewed confidence she start to really get into the performance, singing a sexy jazz number. After the performance we all leave the theatre. At the exit is a stair well that runs the width and height of the building with a landing on each floor and a door that goes into one of 9 performance spaces. The stair well like the theatre is dark and lit only with red light.

My friend Danielle and I start to explore the theatre and I find a bow for a violin laying on the ground and I play with it as we walk. As we get down toward the lower levels we run into Yolandi and Ninja from Die Antwoord. Ninja pulls me aside and explains that now is the time and i need to give my soul to a daemon if i want to be famous. He tells me that after years of trying to make it he did and its the same daemon that Lil Wayne sold his soul too. I am a little freaked out and take off.

On the 9th floor of the building i enter a performance space and find seated in a circle 4 lap steel players and violinist. They all look at me and I sit in the middle of them, handing the bow I had previously found to the violinist. They all start to play and its amazing. I am so moved by them. They all play their instruments differently some finger tapping and other strumming and sliding. I realise i left Danielle alone and leave to find her.

Back on the stairs I see Ninja again and he gets the jump on me. I fall backward on the stairs and he starts yelling in my face. He is mostly doing a spell and sometimes telling me its time and i have to do this. He mentions the name of the daemon. It is Pazuzu from the exorcist moves and the Lesser Key of Solomon. Shit gets too intense i wake up.

I am standing in a large greco roman building. Giant pillars reach up into a blackness beyond which my eyes can see. I am surrounded by children and as I survey the room i realize there is a giant seated figure like a statue of about 20 feet in height. The children inform me that it is Aquaman and that he has died and they are here to beg for the return of Aquaboy to save the world. Suddenly the room starts to fill with water. All the children willingly drown to bring about the return of Aquaboy. I can breath under water and am not afraid. Then coming out of the darkness a cloaked figure begins circling amongst the pillars. As it moves closer to me I realise it is Death, only the entire creature cloak and all are neon purple. I am not afraid of it. As it gets closer it scoops me up in its arms and we begin to fly around the room. As we fly i notice the skull begins to morph into a face. The skeletal body takes on the shape of a woman with humongous breasts. She is beautiful and still neon purple. While flying she starts giving me a blow job and my alarm goes off.

Blow Jobs and Floating Hotels

Man whenever I fall asleep drunk I always have the best dreams.

It starts and I am in a building everything is white and the carpet is royal blue. I am standing around with all these kids that I went to church with as a little kid, only we all have our adult bodies. That’s when I start to realize I am in church. Suddenly the door behind us opens and the adults from my dads church all come flooding into the room. There is like all this commotion and loud ass talking and then the pastors wife, her name is Sister Hinkel, start saying, “now all you kids need to get into the sanctuary.” The crowd of old people starts to push in on us kids and force us through the doors. At the last min I see an opening and I dart for the door barely sliding by.

Once out on the streets I realize the buildings are all floating like ships easily 50 feet off the ground and I run around the city frantic. A cop sees me and for some reason I know I am in trouble so I run hard. He starts chasing me in his car but I can flat fucking run in my dreams. I take off hard and end up running up the stairs into this building. It is also floating and is all black and gothic looking outside. Imagine a sky scraper designed by H.R. Geiger. Inside the building I begin to explore. It has huge 60 foot ceilings and all the walls are a burnt orange color. There are windows like 20 or so feet up that connect all the rooms. They are tall and thin with pointed tops. It reminds me a lot of the depictions of the fire kingdom from Last Air Bender movie. Once I am in the building I feel safe and start to walk around. There are huge paintings everywhere and the floor is ultra reflective black tile. I begin to realize I am in a huge hotel. I turn a corner and start heading down another hall way when an employee sees me. He is wearing all grey and has black short hair. In dream land we are instantly attracted to each other. He asks me if I want to come with him and I say yes.

The employee leads me to a small black door made of metal, a towel closet. When we enter it’s a huge inside. Everything is cement and metal and there are racks of towels everywhere. Way up in the ceiling there are huge industrial fans that let in natural light. The whole scene is very grey like the light given off on an overcast morning. We get in the closet and start making out. Its totally fucking hot. Then as I am pushing him further back into the room we literally stumble over another couple, both hotel employees. They are a hetero set. I realize the boy looks identical to the one I am with. Seeing the naked girl I start grabbing on her and then it turns into this massive foresome with me and the original dude ultimately 69ing with our bodies suspended between two racks. The blowjob felt very realistic and when he came in my hand it was like a thick cotton puff. The dream cuts.

I am suddenly running through the hallways of the hotel and as I do it slowly is morphing into a plane. Then I realize I am in a plane with all these old people and that one is Nancy Regan and everyone is trying to listen in on her phone call and she looks embarrassed and I wake up. 

Scotlando Fiddler

So lately I have been dreaming about work a lot. This sucks cause the last thing you want to do after work is dream about work. Last night was different though. The dream started off work related then went in another totally different direction.

I come to in the dream and I am in the back of a wedding. It’s a night time wedding. In front are all the bridesmaids and groomsmen centered around a gazebo where the bride and groom stand reverently in front of the officiant, all there looking down at their hands.  Everything is done in white all the floral arrangements, drapes, chairs, even the bridesmaids dresses. The groom and his groomsmen are the only people wearing black, them and the violinist. The violinist starts to play and suddenly my vision gets really jumpy. Its as though I am panning the entire scene over and over again. Starting with the last bridesmaid I quickly pan right across the entire scene till I reach the violinist then without panning back I just straight the last maid again. The violinist is standing off to the far right and playing slowly. I cant actually here what he is playing. Suddenly, the dream cuts.

I am standing in a wooded area on the border of a wide open field with hills in the distance. The whole scene kinda reminds me of what Scotland looks like, dreary but lush. Off in the distance is the violinist. He is still playing but I cant her him. To his left is a small boy also playing violin. They are standing far enough away that I can hardly see them. Without even thinking about it I gain the power of super zoom and zero in on their faces. Its as though I am looking through the scope of a gun.  I realize that the boy is actually a to-scale miniature of the violinist. My vision goes wild again I pan from face to face. Big face little face big face little face. The panning gets really furious and the dream cuts.

Now I am on a hill in the same kinda Scotlando setting. Laying on my belly I look to the right and the violinist still in his full tux is lying next to me. He looks really excited. I turn to my left and there is the mini version equally as excited. Together we look out across the land and I begin to explain how it is all mine and that its been in my family for years. I point out a small pasture surrounded by a wooden fence. The pasture is far enough away that all I see are moving dots. My vision zooms in deep on the pasture. As I look I see wild turkey all scattered amongst cows. I explain to the violinists that the turkey are really smart and that they know I want to kill them so they hide behind the cows knowing I wont shoot them and risk killing my cattle. We all snicker about how turkeys are shysters and how you cant trust them. We all laugh. Then as I look off to the right I see a girl in the distance standing by a tree she is wearing a white dress like she is going to be married. The train and veil are blowing mad epic in the wind. The violinist looks at me and says “that’s Lisa Simpson. I am going to marry her.” And I wake up. hahahah.