Blow Jobs and Floating Hotels

Man whenever I fall asleep drunk I always have the best dreams.

It starts and I am in a building everything is white and the carpet is royal blue. I am standing around with all these kids that I went to church with as a little kid, only we all have our adult bodies. That’s when I start to realize I am in church. Suddenly the door behind us opens and the adults from my dads church all come flooding into the room. There is like all this commotion and loud ass talking and then the pastors wife, her name is Sister Hinkel, start saying, “now all you kids need to get into the sanctuary.” The crowd of old people starts to push in on us kids and force us through the doors. At the last min I see an opening and I dart for the door barely sliding by.

Once out on the streets I realize the buildings are all floating like ships easily 50 feet off the ground and I run around the city frantic. A cop sees me and for some reason I know I am in trouble so I run hard. He starts chasing me in his car but I can flat fucking run in my dreams. I take off hard and end up running up the stairs into this building. It is also floating and is all black and gothic looking outside. Imagine a sky scraper designed by H.R. Geiger. Inside the building I begin to explore. It has huge 60 foot ceilings and all the walls are a burnt orange color. There are windows like 20 or so feet up that connect all the rooms. They are tall and thin with pointed tops. It reminds me a lot of the depictions of the fire kingdom from Last Air Bender movie. Once I am in the building I feel safe and start to walk around. There are huge paintings everywhere and the floor is ultra reflective black tile. I begin to realize I am in a huge hotel. I turn a corner and start heading down another hall way when an employee sees me. He is wearing all grey and has black short hair. In dream land we are instantly attracted to each other. He asks me if I want to come with him and I say yes.

The employee leads me to a small black door made of metal, a towel closet. When we enter it’s a huge inside. Everything is cement and metal and there are racks of towels everywhere. Way up in the ceiling there are huge industrial fans that let in natural light. The whole scene is very grey like the light given off on an overcast morning. We get in the closet and start making out. Its totally fucking hot. Then as I am pushing him further back into the room we literally stumble over another couple, both hotel employees. They are a hetero set. I realize the boy looks identical to the one I am with. Seeing the naked girl I start grabbing on her and then it turns into this massive foresome with me and the original dude ultimately 69ing with our bodies suspended between two racks. The blowjob felt very realistic and when he came in my hand it was like a thick cotton puff. The dream cuts.

I am suddenly running through the hallways of the hotel and as I do it slowly is morphing into a plane. Then I realize I am in a plane with all these old people and that one is Nancy Regan and everyone is trying to listen in on her phone call and she looks embarrassed and I wake up. 

Scotlando Fiddler

So lately I have been dreaming about work a lot. This sucks cause the last thing you want to do after work is dream about work. Last night was different though. The dream started off work related then went in another totally different direction.

I come to in the dream and I am in the back of a wedding. It’s a night time wedding. In front are all the bridesmaids and groomsmen centered around a gazebo where the bride and groom stand reverently in front of the officiant, all there looking down at their hands.  Everything is done in white all the floral arrangements, drapes, chairs, even the bridesmaids dresses. The groom and his groomsmen are the only people wearing black, them and the violinist. The violinist starts to play and suddenly my vision gets really jumpy. Its as though I am panning the entire scene over and over again. Starting with the last bridesmaid I quickly pan right across the entire scene till I reach the violinist then without panning back I just straight the last maid again. The violinist is standing off to the far right and playing slowly. I cant actually here what he is playing. Suddenly, the dream cuts.

I am standing in a wooded area on the border of a wide open field with hills in the distance. The whole scene kinda reminds me of what Scotland looks like, dreary but lush. Off in the distance is the violinist. He is still playing but I cant her him. To his left is a small boy also playing violin. They are standing far enough away that I can hardly see them. Without even thinking about it I gain the power of super zoom and zero in on their faces. Its as though I am looking through the scope of a gun.  I realize that the boy is actually a to-scale miniature of the violinist. My vision goes wild again I pan from face to face. Big face little face big face little face. The panning gets really furious and the dream cuts.

Now I am on a hill in the same kinda Scotlando setting. Laying on my belly I look to the right and the violinist still in his full tux is lying next to me. He looks really excited. I turn to my left and there is the mini version equally as excited. Together we look out across the land and I begin to explain how it is all mine and that its been in my family for years. I point out a small pasture surrounded by a wooden fence. The pasture is far enough away that all I see are moving dots. My vision zooms in deep on the pasture. As I look I see wild turkey all scattered amongst cows. I explain to the violinists that the turkey are really smart and that they know I want to kill them so they hide behind the cows knowing I wont shoot them and risk killing my cattle. We all snicker about how turkeys are shysters and how you cant trust them. We all laugh. Then as I look off to the right I see a girl in the distance standing by a tree she is wearing a white dress like she is going to be married. The train and veil are blowing mad epic in the wind. The violinist looks at me and says “that’s Lisa Simpson. I am going to marry her.” And I wake up. hahahah. 

Zombie Factory

So I just woke up about an hour ago from this one. Great action zombie dream. The zombies in this dream were more biological war fare style then the living dead. This meant they were fast aggressive and kinda smart. Well by zombie standards. Def not no pick up and shoot a gun Land of the Dead crap.

I come to and realize i am flat on my back behind a large wooden crate. Its really noisy and judging from the ceiling height and design i know i am in some kind of industrial building. I am high in the air on a ledge about 6 ft wide. I hear this woman screaming so i shoot up and see a blond woman with a young girl behind her. I instantly know its my dream wife and child and i gotta protect them. Between them and i is a zombie. His facial features are really dark but kinda bluish green, lots of cuts on his cheeks total exorcist face. He sees me and is torn between attacking her and me. He jukes back and forth growling and barking at both of us. Finally i get close enough that he makes his move on me and i do some slick ass judo shit and put him off the ledge. Its then i look over and realize we are way up, easily 6 stories if not more. The ground is crawling with zombies and there is other various large yellow equipment and robotic arms below us. Directly ahead is a large bay door. There is a ladder leading up to the ledge and an ultra industrial vault style door behind me.

After dispatching the zombie my wife and child come running to my side crying and terrified. I hug them and tell them its going to be fine. "What the fuck is this," asks my wife. "I have no fucking idea," i reply. Suddenly the bay door starts opening and all these alarms start sounding yellow lights are strobing on and off in unison with the noise. All the zombies flood toward the door and are met with machine gun fire. I tell my wife and child to get behind the create and as i watch some kind of special ops crew clear out the lower floor. They make their way to the latter and start climbing up towards us. The few remaining zombies begin to follow them. As the reach the top of the latter i help them off one by one and they ensure my wife and i that we will be okay. The last of the group makes it to the top of the latter just as one of the zombies grabs his leg. I take him by the arms and pull hard he screams as it gets its teeth into his leg. Upon seeing this the leader of the group walks over, as the man is screaming NO NO NO she puts one point blank into his head while saying sorry her face is so cold though. My wife and i are totally flabbergasted but i understand that he was going to turn and it had to be done.

The special team take to opening that vault door while i am given and gun and told to keep those shits of the ladder. The wide open bay door allows 100's of new zombies to flood the warehouse area. With the sound of a seal breaking the door pops open and the leader is shouting at us to "GET IN" "STAY LOW"!!! I put my child between me and my wife with them both behind me and hold my wives hand as we run through the factory. Each room is different but i dont have my time to look around. We come to another platform with too open passages on either side. Looking over the edge it seems to go down forever. The ops leader tells us to stay put while they split up and search the two paths.

After they leave i notice a white hall way full of elevators and i see a man. He is bald and wearing business clothes a brown tie suspenders and taupe pants. My wife and i run toward him begging for help and trying to find out what the hell is happening. He sees us and panics mashing the elevator button rapidly. As soon as we are close enough get a hold of him he slides into the elevator and the door closes behind him disabling the elevator buttons. There are three buttons an up arrow a down arrow and a middle button that is double stack red, dont push me kinda deal. I hit the door furious. Just then i hear the ops team yelling.

They found a way out and we all take off behind them. From what i can gather the building is a long series of winding ramps. If we stay left we can follow them down to the ground floor and hopefully find safety. We start running and i keep trying to explain to them about the nerd in the hall and they wont listen. Then i look to my left and see him again in another similar hall way. He sees me and his eyes widen with fear as he jumps into another elevator. We keep running in single file and pass through a munitions room. I grab a shot gun even though i remark to myself that i have no shells. We reach another ledge only this time there are no doors and just a long drop off into a dim green glow that gets progressively darker as if it goes on forever. The ops crew is pissed and cursing and trying to figure out whats next. One of them suggest we blow a wall and see what happens. I keep trying to tell them about the elevator man and they ignore me. In all the chaos the child disappeared but no one even my wife and self seems to notice or care. hahah oops.

Frustrated with the ops team i grab my wife and we run backward towards another white hall way. This time as the elevator closes i get the but of my shot gun in the door and it pops back open. Inside is the nerd. He starts rambling and freaking out as the door closes, saying, "you shouldnt be here."  I am yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON MOTHER FUCKER. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON." He keeps avoiding answering me so i put my unloaded shot gun in his mouth and say, "do you really think i am fucking around right now." This scares him so much that his eyes roll back in his head and he falls to the floor. As he falls i can feel his teeth knock on the barrel of the gun. My wife looks at me with a what the hell are we going to do now kinda look. I wake up. 

Pissin and Pizza

So i am in this weird pizza buffet place and i am so stoked cause i love pizza so much and i cant wait to get fat on it. I make my way to the back room where the pies sit neatly under heat lamps. Right as i go to get me a slice all these peoples come running in and block me out the entrance and nom down all the pizza. The dream cuts

I am sitting i the main dining room of the buffet the walls are teal and there is a bright light off to the left. The pizza room is straight ahead. My friends and i are talking, some of them are my real friends some are dream land friends. We are all talking and i keep chugging coke. I mean really chugging too like a whole glass at a time then another and another. Suddenly I have to piss so bad i feel like i am going to explode. To get to the bathroom i have to pass through the pizza room. When i do there is a massive mound of pizza chilling under one of the heat lamps. I am so torn between my desire to not miss out on pizza again and the urge to pee i dont know what to do. Finally i say fuck it and grab a couple slices and tear ass to the bathroom

The bathroom is really dim and is totally covered in emerald green tiles about 1x1 in and occasionally there are red circular tiles. There is one strange yellow light above the mirror. Its a really nice looking bathroom and i remember being impressed with it. As i stuff my face with pizza i make my way to the toilet as soon as i pull my shit out to piss my real life mind stats yelling at me TRAVIS  YOU ARE GOING TO PEE THE BED!!!!!! I shoot up in bed and realize i have to pee so bad in real life hahahahah. oops.